Train Wreck of the Day 12/29/13

Well this guy is hard at work. Hold on guys - don't operate that crane without me, I think I look damn good in this hard hat so I'm gonna go take a quick selfie in the bathroom. 

Train Wreck of the Day 12/25/13

Merry Christmas! Looks like this guy got everything he wanted! All he needs now is a clue. Can't wait to see what he gets me! 

Train Wreck of the Day 12/23/13

So you dress up like Santa. Cute. Do you have jolly red cheeks and a beer belly? If so, I want you to bring me a hot guy for Christmas. Thanks!

Train Wreck of the Day 12/20/13

It's Friday Bitches! What better way to celebrate the Friday before the Holidays, than to do a little frolicking? Get after it! 

Train Wreck of the Day 12/17/13

So clearly, this pic was taken in 1995. Who the hell still has roller blades!? Not to mention that sweet crustache! Dude probably looks 50 by now! Just keepin it real!

Train Wreck of the Day 12/16/13

I think this guy will be a great Father one day! 

Train Wreck of the Day 12/13/13

You know, most times I don't like to wear pants. But I'll usually keep my ass covered - especially when in public. This guy wants to share it with everyone at the event, as well as all his potential dates. He's keepin it real - especially with that epic tattoo on his ass. I'm definitely going to respond to his message. 

Train Wreck of the Month 12/6/13

This guy claims he's not religious but thought this was a cool pic that his friend had on his profile. Apparently he got a lot of ass so he wanted to give it a shot. Hmm, would you bang this guy?

Train Wreck of the Day 12/4/13

Just when it's starting to get a little chilly outside, this tropical background will warm you right up! This looks a little Lord of the Apes to me, but who am I to judge? 

Train Wreck of the Day 12/3/13

Mo Money Mo Problems! Damn shorty, you tryin to let us know you in the drug dealin biznass? Or did you just rob a bank?? Damn, that's tight yo. Bet you're gonna buy me a nice steak dinner at the Golden Corral! 

Train Wreck of the Day 12/2/13

Tis the season! Time for cheer and joy and expressing yourself on Rob Gronkowski's body. Yea.....

Train Wreck of the Day 11/26/13

Aces are high and I'm wild! Not really sure what is going on here. Is he doing a magic card trick? I have never seen a selfie quite like this one. Either way it appears he had a few tricks up his sleeve. 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/25/13

Yup, no caption needed here. 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/22/13

I'm guessing this guy has one hell of a story since he survived this near shark attack. He also has great Photoshop skills. 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/21/13

Yup, he's a priest. Well, at least he's honest. Thanks, but I'm not really looking for a dry hump and a pat on the ass.

Train Wreck of the Day 11/20/13

This guy wants to cast a magical spell on you, and then throw you in his trunk. 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/19/13

I seem to find these pictures on a profile more often than not. Are you engaged and looking for a third? Are you just trying to tell me you aren't afraid of commitment? Why the hell do you have an Engagement collage on your freakin profile? So I asked him. He said - why do you ask, are you jealous it's not you? Yea guy, I'm really jealous. I can't. 

 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/18/13

So, is he telling me he's hung like a horse? 

Train wreck of the Day 11/16/13

Wow. Just wow. Yes, that is Jabba the Hut. Yes, he is naked with a chain around his neck. No, I will not under ANY circumstance go out with you. Call a storm trooper. 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/15/13

Oh, hello Mr. Snaggle tooth! Happy Friday to you too! 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/14/13

So, what's up with that hair? What are you doing? I can give you 3 reasons why I won't respond to you. 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/11/13

Happy Veterans Day! And what other way to celebrate those who fought for our country, than to feature a man on a horse? Or, a unicorn, in a speedo, flexing. It appears "Swiss" is a confident man who can take care of his woman. We have a date on Saturday. 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/7/13

This guy is too hot to cover up his eyes. But what's with the selfie collage? As if one selfie isn't bad enough, we need a collage of his emotions? I still wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, but lets tone it down a notch! 

Train Wreck of the Day 11/4/13

I know I complain about selfies all the time, but enough already with the gym selfies! Great, you work out. I get it. But if you have peanut arms and just post gym selfies, well then I think you are taking too many pics and not lifting enough weights. Just like with any social media - NO ONE  GIVES A SHIT. I'm glad you are healthy, but stop taking pics of yourself in the gym. You look like a douche.

Train Wreck of the Day 10/31/13

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Turns out this guy isn't dressed up for Halloween, he just likes to have fun and gets turned on by pretending to be a Werewolf. Sounds creepy. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/29/13

Is this guy serious?? Posting his freakin unattainable Christmas list on his dating profile? If you are lookin for a sugar momma - I got news for ya, you aren't gonna find her on Plenty of Fish! But, I do wish you Plenty of Luck on the site. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/24/13

Ladies and gentlemen! Please direct your attention to stage 2 where you will witness the most amazing athletic display of dancing since Magic Mike. This guy is a part time banker/part time exotic dancer. I can appreciate your profession (and thank you) but lets not use this picture to attract potential suitors. Thanks. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/22/13

This guy not only has a great pic, but his About Me section is pretty epic. Fake ass mofos. I just can't. The only picture he provided is this blurry selfie that enhances his man boobs and 4 month  baby bump. I hope he finds himself a great baby momma. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/18/13

It's one thing to pose for 4 pics in the same location, but it's another to give you a play by play. We get it, your parents have a pool table. The captions on these really give you a sense of who this guy is. If you didn't know he was obsessed with himself by the pictures alone, the captions seal the deal for you. Make sure he sits in the seat facing the mirror. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/16/13

I'm proud. I really am. You can stand on your head - what a feat. So what is this picture supposed to tell me about you? Can't see your face, and it appears you are wearing sweatpants that have elastic ankles. Your form isn't even that great. Keep trying! 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/14/13

Not sure what "pack" you are referring to, but you do have nice pecks. I don't really want to touch them though, but thanks. Also, the fact that you can't spell pecks is also alarming. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/12/13

Your waist is half the size of mine. You make my hour glass figure look like a refrigerator. I'd be scared the dragon would get me in the middle of the night. No thanks. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/8/13

Listen Bro, if you are too lazy to take a towel to wipe off your mirror before you take your selfie, then you are a gross pig and I want no part of you - or your bathroom. NEXT! 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/7/13

So this guy isn't creepy. Makes you really wanna go out with him when he has pictures of evil animals and portrays the psycho killer from the movie "The Call."

This is comforting knowing we are already taking a big risk of finding a psycho with online dating alone. Thanks for confirming. 

Train Wreck of the Day 10/1/13

Since this is the first day of SOXtober, it only seems appropriate to post a Red Sox Fan. Normally, I would never call a Sox fan tragic. However, dude, this isn't the leaning tower of Pisa, it's Fenway. 

Train Wreck of the Day 9/30/13

This guy wants you to know that he is pretty busy. He can definitely make time for you, but just give him a minute or two. He's currently on the phone with his mother, letting her know that he won't be home for dinner tonight. 

Train Wreck of the Day 9/28/13

Dude, wow. I'm so glad you rolled up the sleeves on your T-shirt to show off your huge guns, and that epic farmers tan. Classic. 

Train Wreck of the Day 9/25/13

This guy is hard at work. What is he an entertainer? You walk around on stilts? Are you handicapped? If you are a painter - did you ever hear of a ladder? I don't know what the hell is going on here, but it's not gonna get him a date. 

Train Wreck of the Day 9/24/13

So, chances are you aren't aware that you don't pop your collar on a dress shirt, and also that this fad went out in 1985 - along with diamond studs on white dudes. But good luck on the site 😊