Train Wreck of the Day 8/31/13

Well this takes the Jersey Shore to a whole new level! Between the hair art, abs, Rosary Beads, and the spray tan, I think he's ready for season 6. I can't. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/25/13

So, is this an advertisement? Was the girl in the background planned? So if I message you back do I get to go on a date with the beer? Cause you look like a tool.  

Train Wreck of the Day 8/23/13

Lay me down in a bed of roses. Or, do a really shitty photoshop job that makes me look like a tool. Happy Friday

Train Wreck of the Day 8/22/13

Pauly D called, he wants his hair and Rosary Beads back. Barbie called, she wants her panties back. And Skipper called, she wants her swimmies back. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/21/13

I'm confused. You are on a dating website. You have posted not one, but 2 pics from your wedding. You profile says you are single and looking for a wife. Looks like you already found one dude, and if it didn't work out, well it seems you have bigger problems than finding a date.  Dating the married guy doesn't really work here. Only Adam Sandler can get away with that in the movies. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/20/13

What is this guy so excited about that he had to document it with a photo? I don't see a hole, or green for that matter. Is this your first shot that actually landed in the fairway? Wow guy, good for you. I'm so impressed, I feel like ripping my clothes off and do the Hokey Pokey. 

New Heights

Women lie about a lot of things. We lie about our age, our weight, our number of sexual partners, and what we really ate for dinner last night. Most of our stupid white lies are harmless. Unless of course you say you say you weigh 110 and really it's 175, but that's a whole other story. 

Men on the other hand, lie about things like their penis size, their height, and how many times a day they masterbate. It's cool to say you are 5'8 when you are really 5'7 and a half, cause really, who knows the difference?  But when you put on your profile that you are 5'10 and when I meet you for a date you are actually 5'5, I'm probably going to be a little annoyed. 

See, I wear a lot of high heels, and midgets aren't really my thing. So when you put info on your profile, it may be easy to lie and put up pics from 5 (or even 10) years ago - if you actually have no intention of meeting anyone.  But if you bite the bullet and take me out on a date, you better look like your pics, and be the height you say. I'm not getting you a booster seat at the restaurant, or bringing you a step stool. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/18/13

When the going gets tough, turn the other cheek. Or, get naked in the mountains and take a pic hiding your shriveled penis. Then use it as your online dating profile picture. This guy is going places. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/16/13

Cool that you can zip line dude, but that is one hell of a nut sac!

Train Wreck of the Day 8/14/13

There is a lot to say about this pic. Being a former Cheerleader, it appears that he is doing a Bow and Arrow on the side of the mountain. The problem here is not only is his form very far off, but what is he trying to achieve here? Only cheerleaders know what this position is, and if you aren't doing it correctly (arm should be to  our right, don't lean, and point your damn toe, etc.), I can speak for all my cheerleader friends when I say, we aren't impressed. If you are going for the non cheerleader, they won't have any idea what you are doing and classify you as a weirdo. It appears having this picture as your profile looks like a lose, lose, and with that form you may lose an arm falling out of your stunt. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/13/13

I mean, what is going on here??? If you really like the photo of yourself in the speedo with your cap on, then fine. But for the love of god, crop out the dude that looks like he is about to go downtown. Not the best way to get girls to swipe to the right bro. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/7/13

So, ummm what? I really don't know what to say. His other pics are actually not that bad, but this, like the hanging babies from a clothes line - is a deal breaker. Check please!

Train Wreck of the Day 8/6/13

Now this is precious. Congrats on having more than 10 friends out to dinner. You must be pretty cool. Also, how thoughtful of you to hide their faces. They do have this thing called the crop tool that could probably help you out next time. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/4/13

I walk up to the club like, "What up? I got a big cock!"

Train Wreck of the Day 8/4/13

Here we go. You have a black eye, and a pair of panties on your head. You used a description box that is supposed to just include a tagline in Tinder, to explain how you are a hobo who got shot at 15. I'll tell you what though, I really could have really used that info upfront before I went out with the Cheese grater, drug dealer guy. So I appreciate the info and will not be getting on your level and swiping to the right. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/2/13

Just when I think people can't get any weirder, I get this message. How about we make a deal - I'll wear my hair in a twist if you stop wearing Jorts. 

Train Wreck of the Day 8/1/13

Happy August! Just when you think summer is flying by, we have images like this to remind us that it's still hot outside, and that we are still surrounded by abnormal people in the world. This is not just his profile pic, but his only pic. I'm really more of a boxer brief kinda girl, and this sends the message to me that you probably play for the other team. Good luck on the site.